How to Bend Time

A new yoga studio opened outside the doorsteps of my apartment building in Lisbon recently. It’s been fun to re-incorporate a regular yoga practice, which I have not done for a few years since leaving New York. The familiarity of a studio, a consistent schedule, the convenience of location, all are factors that help me build momentum with the practice.

There’s just one problem: I am always late.

Despite the studio being a mere twenty meters from my building’s doorstep, I am always the last student to lay a mat on the floor and get seated.

To make myself feel better, I have been reminding myself that I’m a ‘time bender’ versus a ‘time keeper’, which is a personality trait about myself that I accept. More on this down below.

This personality trait to bend time is a double edged sword though.

A few nights ago, I was speaking at an AI event and showed up one minute before I was called on stage. I sympathize with the added stress that I inadvertently caused the event organizers.

Getting to the airport is a game of chicken that I play with the universe. I am what we call a JITT (just-in-time-traveler) and as a result, have an interesting mix of anxiety and adrenaline each time I call an Uber to take me to the airport.

Last week, I awoke to the sound of the doorbell. My physical trainer had showed up and I overslept. One look at my bed hair, he blurted ‘good morning!’ with a smile and laugh.

There is the other edge though.

I can get a surprisingly, if not superhuman, amount of things done.

And it’s not about just working harder, but very much about working smarter. Productivity is often misunderstood as efficiency, however it is really efficiency + effectiveness. Effectiveness means working on the right things. Efficiency means working in an optimal way. Productivity means working on the right things in an optimal way. Time bending allows me to be very productive. It forces me to be optimal.

I often get asked about how I get so much done. My perception of time has something to do with it. I fundamentally believe that time is flexible, and not fixed. I don’t of course mean the physics of time, but rather my experience of time.

Like how sometimes the longest flight can fly by and the shortest flight can take forever. The flight time is the flight time. It is my experience of it that is different. And my experience of it is often influenced by other factors in my life.

My experience of time is a reflection of my state of mind.

My state of mind is a reflection of the state of my life. Or rather how I feel about my life.

For example, the moments when I feel I’m behind, that my to-do list is growing at a faster rate than I can cross things off, that the incoming messages in my inbox seem to never end and my schedule feels overflowing, my state of mind feels in one word: busy. In these moments, time flies by and I become impatient with the world around me and the littlest of things like traffic or a grocery store lineup irritate me because I feel time slipping away. Too much to do, not enough time.

And then there are other moments when I feel a bit of boredom appear. Nothing really important is calling my attention, I’m well rested and fed, and my state of mind in one word is: relaxed. In these moments, time never ends and goes by very very slowly. I’m sitting on my couch, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for something to happen. Too much time, not sure what to do.

I started to look into how time is perceived and came across some research of the psychology of time.

There are two kinds of people: timekeepers and time benders.

Timekeepers are those who always keep an eye on the clock. They're the friends who are always on time, and often anxious to be early. They have a built-in clock in their head, always ticking, keeping them in line with the schedule. I admire how they manage this, almost like they're in a rhythm with time, always in step.

Then there are time benders. Me. We're a different breed. For us, time seems to change shape depending on what we're doing. If we're really into a task, we forget time completely, getting lost in what we're doing or who we’re with. The moment of anxiety happens after-the-fact, versus before.

Time benders can more easily lose track of time when we're really focused. We're not great with routine things because we get bored. But give us something interesting, especially when there's a deadline, and we can do wonders. It's like we suddenly become friends with time, using every second in the most productive way.

It's clear that my relationship with time is a playful one. One that I can not take too seriously. One that I can laugh and smile at. And one that I can always learn from.

I find there is a sort of magic to the rush I feel throughout my day. Being a time bender isn't about squeezing every second out of the day; it's about finding the sweet spot between doing and living. And living is about feeling. Whether I’m lost in something exciting, or bored out of my mind, this flow of experiencing time differently is what keeps life interesting.

And that is how I learned to bend time.