How to Inside Out
Often children stories we think are helpful for children, but watching Inside Out recently was a reminder of how much more relevant the children stories can be for adults, as we have more life experiences to relate and apply to.
In the Inside Out movie, which one day I imagine my future kids will refer to as a classic, different characters inside a young girl’s mind each represent a different emotion.
Meet Joy. Cheerful and always positive, she is clearly the emotion “in charge” in this young girl’s mind, setting the tone and everyone else followed.
Meet Sadness. A bright blue blob that initially comes across as a downer, always expressing some negativity.
Meet Disgust. A bright green cool looking character with slick hair, who often resists what is new or different.
Meet Fear. A scrawny skinny character with big glasses, always hiding and forever scared. Of everything and everyone.
And finally, meet Anger. A short but plump bright red character always ready to yell and scream at the slightest discomfort .
Initially, I resonated with Joy, as she was the one keeping the rest of the emotions in check and maintaining a positive mood. And I found myself getting frustrated with the other characters.
However, seeing the respective emotions work together as a team and the interplay between them began to sit in as more real and less imaginary.
Each emotion serves their own purpose. And I could relate to each emotion.
Sadness for example, initially annoying however overtime I could see how this emotion was the root of empathy and feeling for others, and that in turn created the opportunity for connection.
Or take anger. While at the surface feels counterproductive and mindfulness teachings encourage us to not feel this emotion in particular as intensely, sometimes this emotion is what becomes the catalyst for change. And rapid change.
Many of these emotions, other than joy, often feel unpleasant and are easy to avoid. However, avoiding them is a fool’s game as the emotions only grow when left unattended, and by the time we have no choice but to face them or express them, we have no clue what the initial trigger was to begin with.
Children experience and express a range of emotions frequently. Adults also experience the same range of emotions but do not express them very frequently.
Children don’t know better than to allow them to show, but as we grow older, we get conditioned to hide them.
Emotions are core to who we are, and shape our experience of life. It’s been a journey for me to become more comfortable with my emotions, and through therapy, journaling, reflection and meditation, I feel I have some of the tools to continue to work with and through them.
At times my mind becomes an emotion-making machine, an endless stream of thoughts and feelings that floods my day. Those are the signs that I need to take a moment to pause, and check-in to see what’s going on, inside.
It is so easy to look and point outside as the reason, or cause, of what I am feeling inside. However if the same shared external cause, be it the weather, politics, the stock market, a sports team, triggers different emotions in different people, then it is clear that the feeling has more to do with what’s going on the inside versus the outside.
And that is how I learned to Inside Out.
