How to Family

A seed was humbly planted at the start of the year and what grew from it surpassed any expectations I may have had.

Fifty family members, traveling from all around the world, together for an extended weekend to reunite across generations and geographies.

We rented a venue and were together, under one roof, for the four day reunion. T Shirts were made with a family emblem, that was hand drawn and designed by one of the younger family members, inaugurated at this gathering. A videographer was hired for the entire weekend, not knowing what exactly he would be capturing, but knowing it would be worthy of capturing. A chef was hired to cook on-site for the group, including the no less than twelve family members who had dietary allergies that needed to be catered for.

Baby photos were printed of all fifty family members participating in the reunion. Hanging on the wall, the black and white prints were numbered and we were asked to guess who’s who. I expected the older relatives, especially those who I’ve heard say for years ‘I was there when you were born’ would be able to guess every photo. I was wrong. They struggled with a few, including a moment of comedy when a father didn’t recognize his own daughter’s baby photo.

A time capsule became a joint project. Photos were printed, from before I was born to ones of the reunion. Craft paper and felt tip pens were handed out and everyone wrote cards and letters, to their future selves and our family in the future. It was decided we would open the time capsule ten years from now in 2034.

The highlight was skits. Prompts were written down by hand on scraps of paper, thrown into a bag, and groups of five to six people picked a prompt and were given a few minutes to develop and then act out a scene. They were so bad that we could not stop laughing. 

It occurred to me while watching my family members act out in made up scenes in front of an audience of fifty, so casually and calmly, that we all really did feel secure and safe in this space. It can be vulnerable, to speak let alone act, in front of a group this large. Everyone did it with a smile and it seemed like, without breaking a sweat.

In the in-between moments, the family opted for playing cards, sitting and chatting, and of course, eating. The dining area seemed always full of people, with snacks in between meals and the food running out everytime. The chef had no idea how my family uses food as a source of connection, entertainment and activity.

Throughout the weekend, I found myself in 1-1 conversations with family members I don’t get to see or interact with regularly. With the familiarity of family, we would go deep really fast and I got to tap into people’s experiences on a variety of topics. Be it investing in the stock market, raising kids, charity work and more. I appreciated the bank of knowledge available to me unfiltered and unfettered. It has always been a real asset that I have come to rely on regularly.

For the last evening, we all dressed up. The toddlers in cute frocks and bowties, the women in dresses and the men in shirts and blazers. The sun started to shine through the clouds just as we stepped onto the terrace to take family photos. It took nearly one hour to capture the combinations of family, based on relation, location, generation and more. And of course, everyone became an overnight director, which was fun to watch and maybe less fun for our photographer.

Later that evening, gag awards were given out, highlighting the memorable moments and inside jokes that made the reunion so special and fun. Followed by a full-on dance party, with everyone participating, regardless of age or ability. It was a magical moment to experience, in an environment that feels so safe and one where we all feel special.

On the last morning, we gathered blurry eyed after a late night, for one final group picture. As everyone said bye, I became teary eyed as I felt how special this experience was for me. This group of people have shaped me, in ways I’m both aware of and will never be aware of. I am who I am, how I am, for better or worse, thanks to this family that I grew up in. 

As we grow older, people move around the world, it becomes harder to feel connected to each other. It was grounding to feel connected to my roots, in such a loving and caring way. I feel so grateful for my family and these experiences remind me of how special this connection is in my life. 

And that is how I learned to family.