How to Be Annoyed

Six months ago, I was overwhelmed by a constant sense of annoyance living in Portugal. Every little thing seemed to get under my skin

The traffic was a nightmare. Every trip felt like an obstacle course of gridlocks and erratic drivers, that made no sense whatsoever. Randomness is the only description I can give.

Trying to make a simple bank transfer internationally was a task on its own. Mistake after mistake meant that the funds never could get to the desired destination. And my local bank seemed to block any and all online purchases for no apparent reason.

Online deliveries never arrived on time and I noticed myself becoming more sarcastic, playing a guessing game in my head. What was supposed to be a two-day delivery often turned into a week-long wait. And not so often I would find out weeks later that it was returned because of some innocent issue, without any notification.

Tradesmen were unreliable, often missing appointments or doing subpar work that required to be redone…at least twice. My confidence in others to get stuff done well was hitting close to rock bottom.

The mold and poor construction quality in my rental properties became the final straw. It felt like everything was crumbling around me, both literally and figuratively.

Delays and surprises became part of my daily routine, adding daily to my growing annoyance.

My annoyance had reached an unsustainable level. My mind was constantly agitated, and my emotional state was on edge. I was constantly feeling triggered by the slightest of surprise or inconvenience

Desperate for a break, I boarded a plane on a day’s notice to London. From there, I traveled to Paris, then Toronto, and finally settled in Sydney. I spent most of the first part of this year on a sabbatical by the beach, far from the chaos that had consumed my mind in Portugal.

Last week, I returned to Portugal to begin my next chapter.

It felt as if time had stood still. 

Everything looked the same. The familiar faces at the local grocery store, my favorite cafe, and the building security office greeted me just as they had before. The plants and furniture in my apartment were arranged exactly as I had left them, despite many family and friends having stayed in my place while I had been away.

Yet, something was different. I had changed.

What used to annoy me now seemed trivial. 

The traffic, delayed deliveries, and unreliable tradesmen hadn’t changed. The challenges with banking and credit card issues are still here. But my perspective has shifted. Taking a break and stepping away from what I believe was the source of my annoyance helped give me a new perspective. 

The other day, I went to a small local bakery that I had always avoided because of the long wait times. This time, I decided to give it a try. Standing in line, I watched the baker expertly shape each loaf, his hands moving with a rhythm that came from years of practice. As I finally reached the counter, the warm, fresh bread handed to me felt like a gift. The long wait no longer seemed like an annoyance but a part of the experience, adding value to the delicious bread I was about to enjoy.

Another time, I found myself stuck in traffic on my way to meet a friend. Instead of seething with frustration, I turned on my favorite playlist and let the music wash over me. I rolled down the windows, taking in the warm breeze and the vibrant city life around me. What used to be a source of annoyance had become an unexpected moment of peace and fun.

I also remembered the handyman who had once missed three appointments in a row. This time, when he arrived late again, instead of feeling annoyed, I greeted him with a smile and a cup of coffee. We ended up chatting about his life and I got to practice my Portuguese again. It was a small interaction, but one that connected me with a greater sense of empathy.

Visiting a local market that I used to find chaotic and overwhelming, I now saw it through new eyes. The hustle and bustle, the lively banter between vendors and customers, the colorful array of fresh produce—all of it felt vibrant and full of life. I took the time to engage with the vendors, asking about their products and learning their stories. What was once a stressful environment had transformed into a rich, sensory experience.

I have begun to appreciate the little things I had taken for granted—the warmth of the sun, the friendly smiles of strangers, the views of the waves. Time away had allowed me to reset and reflect. I realized that my frustration wasn’t because of Portugal. It was because of my mindset.

Expectations and frustrations had clouded my experience and perception.

Now, I hope to approach life in Portugal & beyond with more patience and acceptance. I aim to embrace perceived imperfections and find joy in the little moments. What once annoyed me now serves as an opportunity to practice patience and gratitude.

Real change starts from within. The external world doesn’t have to change for me to feel differently. My perspective and mindset is what truly matters.

By changing my perspective, I changed my experience.

And that is how I learned to be annoyed.